There you go, as ive said that im g0ing to upload the pics of jacket+t-shirt. Striking lime green, isnt it? Buta mata aku! Haha.. Well, g0nna wear it t0m0rr0w. So do Kukie. We b0th OT 10am, dunn0 til what time though.
Owh.. Have to put in list-to-do. 2/3pm have to update Azzy what time am d0ne with OT. She wanted to c0me over, since Panjang has class at his h0met0wn. Babe, me no pw0mise u nythn yet, ya? Kepala aku rungsin. Baik duduk office, ramai orang. Tak pikir banyak. Hmph..
OUM? UITM? OLYMPIA? MSU? -REJECT-
Courses?
PSYCH0LOGY? C0MMUNICATI0N? IT? ENGINEERING? LAW? SCIENCE?
Argh.. Fuckin headache. Its for the future! Wr0ng decisi0n, u would see my dead b0dy, after jumped d0wn fr0m KLCC. I kn0w, i kn0w it d0es s0und lame. But again, do ive a ch0ice? If UKRAINE never fucked me so badly, with th0se m0ney they wanted! I w0uld have be a doctor by n0w. It shattered my heart so hard til i got no m0re tears. Undescribeable! N0w am w0rking so like a mad-dog, and shyth0le, i aint got en0ugh to spend. Still have to ask s0me fr0m mamyta+dad at times. Goddamnit.. I didnt party. I didnt sh0p. The salary finished just like that! Rent+f0od+toiletries+medical+etc...
Am n0t whining. But i just d0nt kn0w what to do. Am t0tally lost myself! Again, i lost faith in god! Why it seems so hard to reach out for what ive been l0nging f0r? Especially the time when ive started to hold still 0nto my beliefs, and in just a sec0nd, tested me with obstacles+hardship..
DEAR GOD,
IM FREAKIN TIRED OF LIVIN. PLEASE TAKE MY HAND, AND REACHED OUT FOR ME. STOP TORTURIN ME! HOW AM ABLE TO HAVE FAITH IN YOU WHEN YOU ALL THE TIME, PICK 0N ME! AM THE CH0SEN 0NE? ? ? ANSWER ME ANSWER!!!
Psychotic me!
Free food today!
Yayy.. Yesterday free massage. Tom0rr0w free c0rnetto. Hehe.. Fun isnt it? I guess, thats how maxis shows gratitude to us all. N0t to forget a black jacket wt squiggle 0n it and a lime green t-shirt. Will upload those pics s0on.
Nway,
These whole week my mind wasnt at ease at all, til i decided to work extra hours. Mean, ive w0rked ma ass up 13-15hours per day, for the past few days. And today i really could feel that my head is 'akruzhaetcja'.. Huhu.. No extra hours then t0night. Shall c0ntinue back next week.
Sharwty came with ayamas chicken rice+mirinda strawberry. Had our dnr, while tv was 0n tv3. Stupid malay drama series. Again-a fuckin horr0r drama. N0t really into it though. Owh.. Me got me panda biscuit fr0m Singapore. Yayy.. Sharwty got it for me! I kn0w you love me! Takot aku mewajok ek? Kahkahkah.. Tau kan, gue mewajok seumur hidup! Huhu.. There are 4 flavours-c0okies n cream, milky, strawberry and ch0c0late. My fav would be strawberry panda then! Me like me like. Hehe.. Shouldnt let Helmy kn0ws ive got it. If he got to kn0w, i'd say, byebye panda! Huk3..
Kak Ieta sms. Mark had an accident while 0n his way back fr0m w0rk today evening. A w0man driver hit his car fr0m behind. That bl0ody w0man insisted to lodge a p0lice rep0rt. Then, when Ieta and Mark were at the p0lice stati0n, she wasnt there. Typical pe0ple! Hit and run! Til the p0liceman had to ring her himself and request her to be at p0lice stati0n asap! Thats why i said, what a bl0ody w0man! T0tally a wanker! Lucky n0thin happened to Mark. At least, u r safe ya!
Saturday i might be g0ing to Elyns house. N0wadays,
i do feel i am all al0ne, empty. . .
Pe0ple c0me and go. . .
It d0es break me apart at times but, i shall thank god my relati0n with my siblings are the best i ever had! Even Elyn with her attitudes+behavi0urs that so out of mind. Farra with her own determinati0ns and the m0st sensitive am0ngst us all. Last but n0t least, Helmy, my baby br0ther-the m0st pampered man on earth i ever met! OMG! Next week SPM! I just cant believe it! Hes finishing his sch0ol and hell yeah, he gr0wn up so fast! I was abr0ad for quite a l0ng time and never really got to spend time with them. N0w am back here, still we in distance. If 0nly i had the courage to live-again- with my parents ar0und. C0mplexity! Huhu..
Kepala aku rungsin sangat2. Rasa nak head banging against the wall. Hmph.. T0o many c0mpiled in my head. Thats why i refused go h0me. So, i w0rk extra hours. When i get h0me after midnight, i w0uld straight go to sleep after had sh0wer.
1 bl0ody s0ng.
WALKING AWAY by Craig David is playing 0n my hp, while am scribblin my deepest thoughts here.
'AM WALKING AWAY, FR0M TROUBLES IN MY LIFE, OH I'D FIND A BETTER DAY'
Should i walk away then?
I juz woke up. Nice to be at h0me. Nway, i might m0ve to a new apartment. With lift-thats for sure! I thought Suriamas would be a go0d place. To0 bad. It d0esnt hv smaller unit. All 4 r0oms. T0o big since me live al0ne. I cant take it anym0re, climbing the stairs, everyday. Kurus tak jugak. Hmph.. N0w house hunting with Elyn. Hope would able to find 0ne as s0on as p0ssible. Dying alryte.
I just got to kn0w Kak Ieta had an operati0n at SJMC. N0w shes at h0me. She'll be ok. 0ne thing she has decided to do l0ng time ago and n0w its all d0ne. No m0re wish to get a babygal.. Huhu.. Her choice.
3rd Nov, Elyn will start working at Jabatan Akauntan Negara, Putrajaya as an acc0untant assistant. She has been wanting to get a job with government and n0w, god has granted her wish. So, all the best serving the c0untry,my sista!
For the wh0le week, it was sleepless night for me. There was 's0mething' disturbing me. I did saw 'it' and straight rang mamyta. Inf0rmed her that s0me kind of supernatural presents in my house. I hate Malaysia! These shyts all never leave me al0ne! Insanity..
Went to pyramid with Elyn for a while. Then Azy msg wanted to meet up. Yeah.. Her house keys with me still. Then decided to meet up at asia cafe. Owh. Yan rang me. Asked me 0n maxis netw0rk. Aiyark.. I d0nt own maxis! Alamak.. Kacaucau..
Had kerapu bakar+bamb0o shell. Nice. Then Azy and Pjg arrived. Chatted bout many t0pics. Bitchhin 0n s0me pe0ple. Haha.. Dosa dosa. Ekekeke.. Given the keys to them.
G0nna sleep over at Elyns new place. Go0d luck ma sista! New j0b. New envir0nment. New pe0ple.
Me listenin to yasin, fr0m masjid nearby. This the 0nly surah that i have n0t f0rg0tten. Alhamdulilah.. Others,eg:
mulk,sajadah,maryam,etc, ive f0rg0tten. Erk.. Jahat jahat.. If i were n0t at the arab sch0ol in kluang,j0h0r for 6 m0nths, d0nt think i w0uld ever to hafaz any. Huhu.. G0tta get muqadam n0w. Haha.. Have to start reading+hafaz it all again. Yeah.. I may n0t be a g0od muslim but th0se surah fr0m Al-quran d0es make me at ease m0st of the time. Hmph.. C0mplex..
Shall end my off day n0w. Time to sleep again. Til then...
